Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Top 10 Exercises to Become a Better Equestrian

Straight from today's website and too good not to share:

Top 10 Exercises to Become A Better Equestrian

10. Drop a heavy steel object on your foot. Don't pick it up right away. Shout, "Get off, Stupid, GET OFF!"

9. Leap out of a moving vehicle and practice "relaxing into the fall." Roll lithely into a ball and spring to your feet.

8. Learn to grab your checkbook out of your purse and write out a $200 check without even looking down.

7. Jog long distances carrying a halter and a carrot. Go ahead and tell the neighbors what you are doing - they might as well know now.

6. Affix a pair of reins to a moving freight train and practice pulling to a halt. Smile as if you are having fun.

5. Hone your fibbing skills: "See hon, moving hay bales is FUN!" and "No, really, I'm glad your lucky performance and multimillion dollar horse won the blue ribbon. I am just thankful that my hard work and actual ability won me second place."

4. Practice dialing your chiropractor's number with both arms paralyzed to the shoulder and one foot anchoring the lead rope of a frisky horse.

3. Borrow the US Army's slogan: Be All That You Can Be -- bitten, thrown, kicked, bucked, slimed, trampled, frozen...

2. Lie face down in a puddle of mud in your most expensive riding clothes and repeat to yourself, "This is a learning experience, this is a learning experience, this is ..."



Once Upon an Equine said...

That is a great Top 10 list. Made me laugh.

Anonymous said...

$200 checks! Ha, ha, ha . . . sigh . . . unfortunately, I write a lot of checks that are bigger than that!

Kritter Keeper said...

that is cute...can certainly relate!

Jean said... what's new there? *VBWG*

Great list. Too accurate, I fear. And I agree, "$200" checks is a big low.

Dena said...

Way too funny. And true. Wow, you can afford a horse, shows, show clothes, a chiropractor, AND a cell phone?
YOU are doing something right.
*still laughing*
Thank you so much for this...

Laying in the puddle in your show gear and calling it practice is what sent me over the edge to uncontrollable laughter.

Marissa said...

Cracking up! Love your blog by the way, and Rugby is adorable.

Anonymous said...

Ha, I'm sure lots of us can relate to this one!