Thursday, December 31, 2009

A year in passing, a year begins...

I am ambivalent about 2009. It started off about as lousy as could be. My most cherished horse, Monty, had to be put to down from complications brought on by his equine melanoma. Then began the awful process of "horse shopping". When I finally found a horse that I thought would be perfect, he bucks me into the dirt the day the check cleared. Months later, with the input from a wonderful new trainer, we seem to be on the right course but still have soooo far to go. We are doing very well with groundwork, pretty good under saddle at the walk and working on trotting with motivation to move forward.

I have not cantered or jumped anything in a year. I know my physical fitness has gone to pot. I have found a guarded place in my heart for my new horse but just don't know what our future holds.

On the positive, my children have embraced riding with open arms. One is off the lunge line at the walk and trot in the round pen and the other is just beginning to get his independance.

I feel like I'm at a crossroads. I have moments where I see potential in Rugby to be the field hunter I dream of riding. But I need miles and time to get the trust up to where I feel we will take care of each other in the field. I sometimes wonder if I should let Rugby go and find a pony for my children. We are only able to finance a one-horse household. At this point I'm just kind of letting each day unfold to hint at where the future must go.

Maybe 2010 will begin a better chapter. So my wish to all is a sparkling New Year with all your dreams fulfilled!

9 comments:

Kate said...

May you have a much improved 2010 - and, sometimes you get the horse you need, but only you know for sure, and you two have certainly made enormous progress.

English Rider said...

I found your blog about a year ago and I empathized with your heartache and the struggle to get back in the saddle. You have accomplished an enormous amount and the time has fled really fast. You are already in a better place by far than you were back then.
Take hold with optimism. Tomorrow we get a whole new year to play with. Happy New Year!

Mrs Mom said...

Happy New Year to you guys too SM. And I know how you feel right now...

Jean said...

My the New Year bring the answers you need.

Rugby is a beautiful boy who just needs mileage. You are making great progress with him. You should be pleased.

jill said...

Whatever you decide to do about Rugby, you can know that the process of owning and working with him has made you a better horsewoman. Don't feel like you would be giving up or anything like that. It was an experience that you needed to have on your horse journey. You learned a lot from him and vice versa! You've help him become a better horse.
A very happy new year to you!

IanH said...

Remember that Rugby was given to you for a reason! By someone who knows what He is doing. Rugby sounds like a great horse, and it sounds like you are making great gains! Stick with it!
Happy New Year!
-=Ian=-

allhorsestuff said...

Very tough start coming from having the right fit. He is a different fit, and I pray, the hidden jewel is being polished. Glad that your kids are looking towards the saddle! That is exciting! They gain powerful insight watching you and your progress/ pitfalls with Rugby too.


Happy New Times for you and yours!
KK

SunnySD said...

It's interesting and often inspiring to read about your progress with Rugby. New beginnings are stressful. May your 2010 be far less so than 2009! ~ Happy New Year ~

Breathe said...

It's a wrenching decision, I'm sure the right answer will come. I've so been there in 2009.