Monday, August 30, 2010

Riding Rules for "Older" Horsewomen

From the Tackoftheday.com website. Worth sharing, as I too am an "older" horse woman:

Some RIDING RULES for the, ahem, Older Horse Woman:

• We DO NOT need to show up with our hair combed, makeup on and wearing a clean shirt.

• Moaning, groaning and complaining about aching muscles is perfectly acceptable, as is taking Motrin (or something stronger) prior to a ride.

• Helping someone on or off the horse does not mean the rider is an invalid. It only means the horse got taller overnight.

• No one will comment about how big someone's butt looks in the saddle.

• When a horse is acting up, we will accept that the horse is just having a bad- hair day and it is not the rider's fault.

• Mentioning it is too hot, too dry, too humid, too wet, too buggy, etc., is considered self expression, not whining.

• We will acknowledge that horses are very strange animals and sometimes for no reason at all we fall off of them. If this happens to any rider, the other riders will ascertain that the person is okay and then not mention the incident to another living soul, especially husbands and significant others.

• We will acknowledge, without apology, that riding more than 6 hours increases our grumpy level far more than any ego benefits we may get from riding longer.

• Looking at my bouncing fat is NOT an acceptable way of determining if I have a good seat. My fat always bounces, thank you. It is cushion I carry in case I fall off.

(author of the above rules is unknown)

The following was added by another equestrian on a different site where this was posted. I love this, so for your enjoyment is yet another "rule":
• No OTD (Older Than Dirt) rider shall be asked "What's your discipline?", "Are you showing next weekend?" or "What level are you"? Answers like "I am totally undisciplined", "I showed up today; isn't that enough?", and "Actually I tend to list a bit to the left" will be acceptable should anyone younger than dirt ask those ridiculous questions.

10 comments:

Breathe said...

Ooo, I love those! I'm going to post that in our barn!

Carolina said...

Hahaha, I love these rules. I might do a copy/paste job and email them to some friends of mine ;-)

Jean said...

I am being self=expressive: It is too hot here to ride. *G*

Love this post. *lol*

Marissa said...

I saw these as well... too funny. (By the way, a little in awe of how you are keeping your sense of humor about you!)

Dreaming said...

I also had to send this on to friends. I love the rules. I bet we could come up with more....

Complaining/whining about aching knees after 30 minutes in the saddle is OK since saddle manufacturers obviously have changed something in saddle construction since we were younger.

It is OK to show up anywhere with chipped, dirty fingernails and shoes that have a vague 'horsey' smell about them!

Dreaming said...

I also had to send this on to friends. I love the rules. I bet we could come up with more....

Complaining/whining about aching knees after 30 minutes in the saddle is OK since saddle manufacturers obviously have changed something in saddle construction since we were younger.

It is OK to show up anywhere with chipped, dirty fingernails and shoes that have a vague 'horsey' smell about them!

JennyB said...

Oh my goodness, I identify too well with way too many of these! At least I can tell them "it's in the rules" now though lol

~~ JennyB, Horsefeathers

Once Upon an Equine said...

I understand and accept those rules completely. They made me smile.

JanLou said...

This is really funny. Someone needs to mention the bit about "No one will comment about how big someone's butt looks in the saddle." where I ride lol

The Original BitFit said...

I always tell everyone that my horse does my laundry for me. gigggle.