Wednesday, June 18, 2008

If Horses Were in High School...

If Horses were in High School, What Cliques Would They Be In?

Quarter Horses: Definitely jocks. Strutting around flexing those muscles, showing off their butts...definitely jocks.

Thoroughbreds: Preppies. Sometimes athletes, never 'jocks'. Monogrammed blankets, leather halters, Nike eventer shoes, the latest custom trailer and tack. They are the 'new money' rich.

Appaloosas: Could only be the stoners. They like to trip acid so they can watch their spots move.

Arabians: RAH! RAH! SIS BOOM BAH! GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO TEAM!!(need I say more?)

Paints: The art students, always walking around with splotches of paint on their clothes. Some tend to be very minimalist whilst others are rather garish.

Shetland Ponies: Frightening, spiky hairdos, snotty attitudes and any color of the rainbow .... Gotta be PUNKS. Some even sport tattoos.

Saddlebred and Tennessee Walker: Those smooth southern boys that can always steal your girlfriend.

Friesians: Big, buff, and always in black, they are the biker clique. Cigs hanging out of the corner of their mouths, dangerous glint in the eyes, daring anyone to cross their path.

Morgans: They're the nerdy teacher's pets, running around doing everything from yearbook to decorating the gym and ratting out the bikers, stoners and jocks. They have perpetual wedgies.

Drafts (all breeds): No real clique, they're just the big guys who sit in the back of the room and fart a lot (and then laugh). Who's going to STOP them?

Icelandics and Paso Finos: They're the little squirrely geeks who flit around a dance trying to fit in and fail miserably. The kind who wear Toughskins jeans from Sears (or would that be rip off WeathaBeetas??).

Ahkle Tekl (Akle Takl? Ackle Tackle....!! Akhal Teke!!): Foreign exchange student(s). And no one can spell their names either.

Hackney Ponies: A breed this manic would have to be a band geek. Marching along with their knees and heads held high.....even going to the bathroom.

Warmbloods: Old Money Preppies, as opposed to the TBs who are new money preppies. All their tack is imported from Europe, they drink Perrier water and eat only organically grown feed. They look down on everyone and talk amongst themselves about summer in Paris and skiing in Gstad and wasn't it dreadful how provincial Spruce Meadows has become?

8 comments:

Grey Horse Matters said...

Very entertaining. I know a few of those horses.

The Knutson's said...

I stumbled upon your blog and read this post. Let me just say how frighteningly accurate your depictions of horses are! Too funny!!! I was totally imagining each horse as a person from my high school-not easy to do when you graduated 15 years ago!-and found myself laughing. You should do a post that asks people to share which breed THEY were in high school:)

SolitaireMare said...

That's a great idea knutson! we can definitely start by posting here. I for one, am a Paint/Thoroughbred cross!

Momma / Cowgirl said...

This was cute! I do say I had friends in many a clique. It has been way too many years, LOL
I confess I was a mix between an Arabian and a Hockney Pony.

Katie said...

hey!

I'm Katie from A Girl and Her Horse. I just found your blog. Its great! I hope you have fun re-delving into the world of dressage!

Good Luck

Chris said...

Well I always had a thing for the jock in the movies... but seriously, how do I explain my attraction to the bikey??? ;)

EquineSpirit said...

LOL! Awesome...and sooooo true!!

Twinville said...

Oh my!! This got me laughing so hard..and out loud, too! Not something I'm known to noramlly do...especially at THAT time of the month! hehe

And the Draft horse one got me the hardest. BWHAHA!

But I loved the description of the Paints (which is what I have). My mare fits into that description just fine.
Now just to teach her to hold a paintbrush in her mouth. She does love to wear straw hats, so it shouldn't be too hard. hehe