Monday, April 11, 2011

Thank You

I want to thank everyone who has been thinking of me and supporting me in my dream to find a good horse since my best horse Monty died. I have recently been handed a very difficult twist of fate and as I recover from this injury, I will be unable to ride or work around horses for awhile. I don't know what my future holds as far as riding goes and I guess if I thought I wanted a quiet horse before, I'll need a really dependable fellow now. (and with my luck, that horse will not exist, either)

This blog may sit dormant for a long while. I have reached the lowest point ever regarding horses and continuing to write or read what others are doing only makes me feel worse. I wish everyone well and only the best in all your equestrian endeavors.

No time spent in the saddle on a good horse is ever wasted. Funny how you never know how true that is until you are faced with it being just a part of your past.


Mumzie said...

Oh my gosh! Just started following your blog and feel so bad for you. I hope you recover soon and find a "Good" horse. You might try looking at the "Peruvian Paso" horse they are very gentle to ride since they are gaited, plus most Peruvian horses I've been around have a wonderful gentle temperment. Mumzie

Denali's Mom said...

I'm sorry! Thanks for your comment on my blog. I think of you often when I grumble and gripe about not being able to do anything. At least I have Denali, even if I can't do anything with her. I know the feeling of being unable to read other's blogs. So many of my friends on facebook have horses and looking at pictures of them riding just makes me so sad and jealous. If you want to keep in touch e-mail me! rehabdenali@yahoo. com You don't need to publish this comment, but I wanted you to know I'm thinking of you!!

Mrs. M said...

I have been reading your blog for a while. I am so sorry you're going through a rough time.

I just have to say that the last paragraph you wrote is so true. Since I sold my horse nearly 3 years ago (for reasons out of my control) my life has not been the same.

I hope you're feeling better soon and you can find "your" horse.

Laughing Orca Ranch said...

Oh sweetie! Tears are falling for you as a type this. I have been there where you are right now, several times now.

The first time was when my previous horse spooked and teleported 10 feet and caused me to fall off, which severed my ACL. After surgery and 5 months of rehab, I decided I was strong enough to at least de-worm my horse. Easy, right? Not!
She was tied as I walked up to her and she saw the tube of wormer and sat back so hard that she ripped the welds on the pipe fence!
The pipe fence rail came crashing into me, ramming me into the ground, which caused a compound fracture of the same knee that I had just had surgery on for the ACL!

I sold that highly reactive horse and 8 months later started taking lessons to get my self confidence back, and not long after that bought the horse I have now.

I enjoyed a wonderful 5 months of riding her in Competitive Trail Classes and in the National Forest. She was perfect!
Then she injured a shoulder coming down a steep hill and soon after that suffered through a bout of sage poisoning.
And day I was working with her out in the pasture at liberty, doing some desensitation work....and BAM!!!!!
She gave me a double barrel kick in the face, breaking my right orbital bone in several places and causing me to see double for several weeks.

That was last summer and I've still not ridden her and I fight that sick fear feeling in my gut every time she turns her back to me and walks by me. That feeling is incapacitating and all consuming. And I don't know how to totally get past it even though I want to with all my heart.

Anyway, I just told you all that because I want you to know you are not alone by any means. I also know how you feel not wanting to read any other horse blogs, especially those that are having, what seems to us, perfect, fun rides, with perfectly well behaved and wonderful horses.
It's heartbreaking!
But somehow I just know in my heart that you will get past recent 'setback' and you will be around horses again, and yes, even ride. It's in your blood and horses are in your heart.

Please consider using your blog as a place to get your thoughts and feelings off your chest, or they will literally try to consume you. Believe me, I do know.

Also, by sharing, you'll also be able to help others who have, or are going through the same things.
But most of all, please know that we will all be here to support you.


SunnySD said...

Hang in there.... Don't have any real words of wisdom to offer. I'm still dealing on and off with the heebie-jeebies after having a horse rear over backwards on me - the physical healed slowly and the mental took even longer. It can be tough to get past and you have to do it at your own pace. There are lots of us out here that understand where you're at, and will be completely supportive whatever you ultimately decide.

I hope your recovery is a speedy one, and that we keep hearing from you!

Dreaming said...

I feel so badly for you. I wanted you to have that Cinderella or National Velvet story of a dream come true in the worst way. You have been through so much.
I hope you have speedy healing, physically, mentally and spiritually and that spring brings new energy and vitality your way. That happy ending IS around the corner.

Justaplainsam said...

Ive been following your blog for a while, and I hope you can find the horse of your dreams.

Belive in your self. The doctors told me I would never ride again, I proved them wrong.

English Rider said...

The other comments are all wise and helpful. I wish I had something I could say that might help a little. I do feel for you.
Don't be afraid or embarrassed to reach out for emotional help, be it friendship, talk therapy or anti-depressants. Some things are too big to face alone. There is no shame in that.

Jennifer said...

After my accident, someone commented to me..
"There's light at the end of the tunnel, and a horse silouette in it."

Have faith that you will heal, physically and emotionally.

Jean said...

Your blog here does not have to be about horses. If you need to "talk" and get some responses to your feelings, we will be here for you. I'll keep checking for posts.

As to your circumstances? First, I want to wish you well so you recover quickly and are once again healthy.

There is a good, quiet horse out there somewhere for you when and if you are ready. I know it's hard, but faith can go a long way in healing the heart, soul and body.

I am sending my love, support and cyberhugs.

Cousin B said...

My heart breaks for you. I KNOW that "lack of confidence" feeling. I'm recoverying as I type, from a fall (spooked horse) that left me with three fractures in my back. I'm in my 4th week of recovery, and JUST got the nerve up to go "sit in saddle" and ended up taking a short, 1/2 hr. ride (with Bossman from stables) and this did help me. But, I can tell I'm having "fear issues".
I'm praying for you to heal and regain your confidence.