Hurts - so good! and 30 Day Horse Challenge Day 1: When and why you started riding

Today my knee is a bit sore and all the fluid we moved yesterday has moved right back in but I can bend it 90 degrees to the floor now and it's already getting easier to use the stairs.

I am a big fan of good physical therapy. It made me a believer 10 years ago when my wrist was broken from getting kicked by a friend's horse. I will favor an injury until a doctor gives me the green light to do something with it, and after that I will gladly push it. Once this orthopedic surgeon told me I need to start using the knee and getting the fluid out of the joint I was thrilled. Yeah, it hurts but I have no problem with pain as long as it's part of the healing process and I'm not doing further damage.

When I walked in to Pro Sports I was pleased to see the place was as bright, cheery, clean and the staff as nice as they were all those years ago. The therapist who consulted with me and then started my program was perfect. It was also nice that the place was fairly empty with only 1 other patient so I got full attention. I think my favorite part is the ice and the massage. Ice... ahhh. I could use some ice again about now.

So, I've been thinking. This blog is supposed to be about horses. For who knows how long it's probably going to be about me trying to get back to riding horses. That's interesting to some but not really about horses. I've been enjoying A Horse and a Half's posts for the 30 day horse challenge. It looks like fun and is really just 30 days telling about your life experiences with a horse theme. So, to keep this somewhat horse-centric, I'll give it a go.

Day One - When and why you started riding:


Why did I start riding? Because I was a horse mad little girl. I received my first Breyer horse - The Family Arabian Foal in palomino for my 4th birthday. I watched horse movies and westerns on TV. I looked for any horse books I could find in the library. I watched "Gumby and Pokey" and "Mr. Ed" because the horses could TALK! I pretended I was a horse, I reared, snorted, galloped and jumped anything in my way. Obsession, thy name is equus. My poor parents had NO idea what they were in for.

When did I start riding? I started riding at the tender age of 6. I took lessons in a backyard barn from a woman whose daughter had a show pony and she had a big show hunter as well. I wish I could remember her name but all I recall was riding a white pony on the lunge line and she was very kind. I rode there for about a year until I broke my leg while riding my bicycle and was away from horses for about a year. When I went back to riding at 8 years old, it was at a local lesson/hack barn and I have been in the saddle ever since.

Physical Therapy - bring it!

I begin Physical Therapy this afternoon to start my right knee back to being a willing partner to the left one.

Yesterday was my visit with the Orthopedic Surgeon and I liked his demeanor very much. I also like that we have common ground as his young daughter rides horses! He immediately got me out of the knee immobilizer brace and into a flexible brace, the kind with the opening for my kneecap and the metal bars and hinges on the sides. He wants me to get this knee back to complete flexibility again before we seriously discuss surgery for the ACL. I'm all for that.

So, PT for 2 weeks and another appointment for him to check my progress. Sounds good to me.

And because I'm a sucker for punishment, I still look at horses, and dream. THIS is exactly the kind of horse I'll be looking for whenever I return to the saddle:

TOP GUN

Let's get it started.

Tomorrow morning I go see an orthopedic surgeon for another opinion who is both on my insurance plan and who's been recommended by a few people. I'm hoping he can give me some more detailed and encouraging information with how to proceed in rehabbing this knee. On Wednesday I start physical therapy and truthfully, I'm really looking forward to it.

I was really happy when I found out that the physical therapy group that I wanted to use is also covered by my insurance. I had great results from them 10 years ago when my left wrist was broken when I was kicked by a horse. When that wrist came out of the cast, I had almost no rotation ability and the physical therapy provided by Pro Sports physical therapy gave me back a good start on full rotation which has since been returned to almost 100% normal.

My hope is that since the MRI report only listed the ligament tears as "moderate", that maybe I can bypass any surgery and the physical therapy will start me back to being myself again. At home, I do get around without the knee brace. My knee will support my full body weight, the feeling that my knee is unstable and could buckle has gone and the joint actually isn't painful as much as it feels very tight.

I also hope this doctor will let me use a less restrictive knee brace. I agree I need support, but this thing I've been harnessed into for the past 2 weeks makes me want to scream.

What I Want

I am sitting here trying to work, with my stupid knee brace encased leg causing me to shift into ever increasingly uncomfortable contortions.

I didn't deserve this injury. I am not reckless, stupid or untrained. I am well aware of what my limitations are at 45 years old. And I got handed another screwing by fate. I am also depressed, angry and sad because I am 45 f'ing years old. When you break at 25 years old, your body heals and you have time. When you get broken at 45 years old, every day you lose takes you another step closer to your last ride.

I have decided that if I get out of this one and regain any of my riding, I know what I want.

I want the same kind of horse I had when I first started all this. I want the same horse I had as a kid that opened this whole world up to me and made it fun. The requirements are pretty simple:

1) Gelding. I will N E V E R go near a damn mare again. After my black mare I should have learned there will never be redemption in my experience for a mare.

2) Chestnut. My first horse was a beautiful liver chestnut. And I loved him as only a girl will love her first horse.

3) Quarter Horse or Quarter Horse cross. I know there are a few QH left in this world who are at least 16.2 hands tall. My first horse was a QH/Morgan cross and my second horse was a QH/TB cross. Sound, sane and just good hearted riding horses.

4) Has NO vices under tack. My first horses were green broke when I got them but they NEVER bucked, reared or bullied me. This time I want a horse who's a little older but just as trustworthy.

And if that no longer exists in this world, then screw horses.

Thank You

I want to thank everyone who has been thinking of me and supporting me in my dream to find a good horse since my best horse Monty died. I have recently been handed a very difficult twist of fate and as I recover from this injury, I will be unable to ride or work around horses for awhile. I don't know what my future holds as far as riding goes and I guess if I thought I wanted a quiet horse before, I'll need a really dependable fellow now. (and with my luck, that horse will not exist, either)

This blog may sit dormant for a long while. I have reached the lowest point ever regarding horses and continuing to write or read what others are doing only makes me feel worse. I wish everyone well and only the best in all your equestrian endeavors.

No time spent in the saddle on a good horse is ever wasted. Funny how you never know how true that is until you are faced with it being just a part of your past.

Not Happening

Circumstances have changed. I will not be keeping this horse. She is being returned to the seller. Not really up to talking about it at this time.

So Far, Safe and Sound!

Little Bear the mare arrived after 9:30PM last night. I raced to get there ahead of the trailer when I got the call that she had crossed the Throgs Neck Bridge. She showed up riding in style in a big 6 horse gooseneck from the horse shipper my trainer connected me with. The shipper was a great lady and she praised Little Bear for her calmness and good manners.

LB stepped slowly off the trailer and into the main barn where all the show horses are boarded. I wanted to groom her a bit and then see if Monty's old sheet and halter would fit her, as she arrived naked and wearing a nylon halter. She slipped right into his clothes like she'd been waiting her whole life for them.

As I worked on her, all the horses were peering out to see who the newbie was. Only one head was missing - Ruby. The old man tends to ignore things that don't concern him or the hay he's munching on. But he must have heard my voice and looked out at me. When he saw it was me, he whinnied happily at me. And when I said his name he nickered again. As soon as he did that, LB turned her head and looked at me, like she was really interested in who was handling her. I got the feeling whatever Ruby said got her interested. I quickly got a little treat for Ruby and offered one to Little Bear. She bit it in half and dropped it. I picked up the pieces and offered it to her again. This time she took it, slowly moved it around in her mouth, tasting it and then chewed it up and finished it. I don't think this girl has ever had treats before.

I took her to her new stall, tucked her in with bran mash and more hay and watched as she and her neighbors squealed it out a little for the first few minutes. Then LB decided to ignore the geldings on either side of her and focus on her food.

This morning the barn manager texted me to tell me she loves this mare! She is so impressed with her calm, sensible personality. The big test was when my trainer showed up. Good news is, he thinks she's cute, too!

Looking forward to getting to the barn this afternoon and playing with the mare. Hoping I get to ride, too. The weather is less than great and I don't think she's ever been in an indoor riding arena! Maybe I'll get a few pictures with my cell phone, too.