The horse blogging community is just an amazing bunch of people. To all those folks, old friends and new, who took the time to stop by my page and share your kind words of care and concern, I say, "Thank you, from the bottom of my heart". You have helped me face this and move through it.
Surprisingly, I feel okay today. I guess you could say I feel "lighter" as if the huge burden of Rugby's health and comfort has been taken from me. It really was for the best to give him into the hands of God and let him be at peace.
My friend at the barn who owns the old horse that Rugby just adored has several lesson horses there. She graciously offered one of her lesson horses, Petey for me to ride. And this morning I decided I would get back out and do it. So I went to the barn this afternoon and my friends were just thrilled to see me again and so soon. Those who were there yesterday when Rugby was put to sleep told me it was the most peaceful, quick and gentle passing I could have hoped for. I was glad to hear he looked comfortable and quiet and everyone gave him a little extra attention throughout the day. My heart felt even lighter at this news.
So I went to meet Petey and saddled up. And as I eased into the tack and walked off on a loose rein I felt such joy. I was RIDING! Riding an old show horse who enjoyed my skill and rewarded me with a lovely walk/trot hack for a half hour. It was blazingly hot and I kept it short as Petey is not exactly fit. Then I hosed him down to cool him off, allowed him to nibble on some grass for 5 minutes and put him away. He turned and gave me an inquisitive look and slobbered on my shirt. Ah, horse slobber! I thanked this old campaigner with a few treats from my arsenal and sat in a chair outside his stall for awhile with just his stall chain across so he could hang out with me, and that's just what he did.
Life is hard, but happiness is out there. There is a world full of horses, and a new journey waiting for me to begin when I am ready.