Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Two Difficult Choices

So, as of today's phone conversation with my vet, I am at the fork in the road with two difficult choices.

One fork is to have Rugby euthanized now, before he slips deeper into discomfort and suffers further.

The other direction is to see if a woman my vet and I know and trust is comfortable having Rugby sent to her farm to live on pasture and see if living in the field on grass without the confines of stall and a stalled horses diet will save him. We will send her enough Banamine to keep him comfortable but will take no more measures medically to prolong this. We don't know if he will survive the trip upstate to her place. We don't know if she will feel comfortable with it and agree to a potentially terminal case to be in her care. And I completely understand if she says no.

If she doesn't agree to it then I will not let him suffer any more.

19 comments:

Ashley said...

My heart breaks for you that you are dealing with this decision. My thoughts and prayers are sent your way. I'm sure your heart and gut feeling will lead you in the right direction to make the best decision for Rugby.

Laughing Orca Ranch said...

Prayers said for you and your special Rugby.
Follow your heart and truly listen to Rugby to decide which route is the best to take. You will know when you are at peace with your decision.


(((hugs)))
~Lisa

SunnySD said...

Thoughts and prayers... there's so little else that's helpful to say, so just know that I'm thinking of you. I'm positive you and Rugby in many others' thoughts and prayers, as well.

Stephanie said...

My thoughts and prayers are with you and Rugby!

Funder said...

What a hard journey you've had with Rugby. My thoughts are with you. :(

English Rider said...

"Turn-out" has saved many horses from many ailments. I am a believer. I had wondered if his relapse was linked to his returning to his original stable after recovering somewhat in the quarantine stalls.
I hope he can make the trip. It is really good that your vet is trying to consider all options, including non-medical.

Lindy said...

Heartfelt thoughts going out to you and Rugby in this difficult time.

Jennifer said...

Thoughts & Prayers, SM.. Thoughts & Prayers

CTG Ponies said...

My thoughts are with you and I'm really hoping that this works for Rugby. It sounds like you are doing everything you can for him.

Jean said...

My heart too is breaking for you. Perhaps nature will create a cure for you both.

I know you are doing your absolute best for your boy. I am so sorry it has been so hard for you both.

Breathe said...

Is he strong enough to make a journey? Oh god, girl, I'm so sorry for you. Sending you strength of heart.

Winter

Kristen Eleni Shellenbarger said...

Oh my god..I'm so so so sorry. This is such a difficult time and I'm sure so confusing. Listen to Rugby and your heart. You are his voice. There may be reasons we can not understand, why our babies struggle and sometimes are taken from us. Whatever decision you make IS THE RIGHT ONE.
Hugs and rubs to Rugby.

Golden the Pony Girl said...

My heart and thoughts are with you and your family and with Rugby.

Oregon Equestrian said...

I have to make the difficult decision for my mare five years ago. She was 28 and we'd been together for 26 years.

Talk to Rugby and ask him want he wants. I asked my mare and her answer was in her expression. As soon as the decision was made, she seemed relieved.

My thoughts are with you.

Bluesdarky said...

There's something I would like to say about the choices you have to make. It is not the same size-related but I once was in the same situation than you. I have two cats, one is named Pepsi and the other Cashew. We got them when they were three weeks old. It was too young.

They caught a virus at the pet shop and the vet told us there was nothing to do, that it was fatal.

Still I wouldn't let them go. I fed them, I gave them water, I talked to them every single hour of my day and still there was no improvement. During one month I saw them getting thinner, sicker, moving less, wanting less than death but still I would feed them their favorite food (stew juice) and I would give them water. They were sleeping on our shoulders and the two could have fitted in my hand.

Still, one day, one of my cat wouldn't move. She was hungry and thirsty but she couldn't move. she was paralysed. I saw a miracle happened: Pepsi's sister, Cashew, grabbed some food in her mouth and carried it to her sister. She did it thrice and still Pepsi wouldn't move.

I asked Pepsi to fight, because it was her that would make the change. We couldn't help her more than now. Finally, two days after, when we were ready to bring her to the vet, she stood on her own and she walked.

We discovered later she was allergic to chicken, which composed a major part of cats' food.

It's a long story but it's only to tell you that Rugby knows you love him. He will decide what to do, what to ask. As long as you see that sparkle in his eyes, and that he asks for your attention, he'd like to fight. Give him a chance, even if you don't know what he suffers of.

My heart is with you and with Rugby.

photogchic said...

So sorry...someday we will all have to make similar choices and I dread the day. Much love sent your way.

Paige said...

That is a tough one--but I bet you know what to do in your gut

All my horses live outside--and are only stalled in times of need. Maybe that is why out of 50 horses, I rarely have a serious issue.

Im totally a believer in turnout

Promise said...

Prayers for you and Rugby.

Wolfie said...

You have been an amazing caregiver to Rugby. I am sending positive thoughts your way for both of you.