Friday, July 16, 2010

Laughter amid my tears

After Monty, I promised my children that if Rugby became so sick that he couldn't be made well, that they would get to see him and say goodbye beforehand. So tonight we headed over to the grocery store for a bag of baby peeled carrots and went to see him. Rugby was still managing to stand and eating but so very thin and unsteady on his hind end. He seemed happy to see us and came over at the sound of the carrot bag crinkling.

My children hugged their big friend and he enjoyed their attention and all the baby carrots. I didn't want to try taking him out to graze as I was afraid of him falling. My boys got choked up but didn't cry, they gave Rugby carrots and then frisked off to run around the farm and jump the show jumps like they usually do. Kids have a resiliency that I envy.

I had brought my scissors to snip off some switches of his tail to have a keepsake made. To keep him busy, I gave him another flake of hay and put some baby carrots on top. He busied himself with his treat and I snipped off the first swatch of hair. After rubber banding the first clipping together I went in to get another. Again I offered him another handful of baby carrots. As I bent over to put them on the hay next to his mouth, I heard a loud, "RRRRipp!" and suddenly was aware of a breeze across my tushie.

My old faithful jeans, the most faded, loose and comfy, those of many long trail rides and days spent at the barn decided it was their time too, and simply split open across my rear along the pocket!

I slowly reached around and touched my butt, realized my undies were now on display and I laughed like a banshee. Rugby looked up at me as if I had lost it completely. My kids came running, took one look at mom's pink cotton drawers peeking out of her jeans and howled with laughter. My friend, who's old horse who is Rugby's closest horsey buddy was grooming him outside the stall so he could be with his friend one last time, looked over at my laughter and I turned to flash her and she gasped and cracked up.

Ah, the fates may be cruel but God has a sense of humor. My husband came in to see what all the noise was about and I flashed him, too. He smiled his evil little smile and said, "only you!" Then he chuckled. After that, the mood was lighter. I did tuck the grocery bag into my belt to have some butt coverage. It was the best I could do since my kids kept singing the Spongebob "I ripped my pants" song as long as it was in plain sight!

We gave our Big Guy another hug and left him to peacefully eat his hay. And though I was greatful to my husband for the cold beer we shared when we got home, my heart was lifted more by the simple act of my barn jeans heaving their sigh of relief


(I put one of my silky equestrian scarves inside the opening so the rip would be more visible in this picture.)

10 comments:

Breathe said...

LOL It's good to laugh, good to remember, and good to be able to say goodbye.

Keeping you in our hearts.

Cousin B said...

I'm glad you had a laugh today...you deserve it. Please know I'v been reading your past posts, and my heart breaks for you having to go through this. I'm sending prayers straight to you and Rugby for strength.

onthebit said...

Double whamy of loss! It always sucks when your favorite barn wear goes. I told my trainer about Rugby and she sends her sympathies over your way. I wish I could give you a hug right now. When I say my heart is breaking for you, I mean it. I woke up at 5 am with my first thought being what today was for you. From the bottom of my heart I am sorry that you had to go through this.

Wolfie said...

I can't imagine your heartbreak. Sometimes laughter is the best medicine. I think the powers that be knew you and your family needed some humour. Take care.

Kate said...

I'll bet Rugby enjoyed your laughter and lifted mood too - it will always be a lovely memory.

Mrs Mom said...

Snip a swatch from the jeans too, and put them with Rugby's hair ;)

Thinking of you.

wendyu said...

You have me crying then laughing and crying again. My heart breaks for what you're going through. Thank you for sharing your laughter and tears with us. I feel like a part of your family.

hugs to you.

Jean said...

God does work in mysterious ways. Even in the heartache, He helped you find some laughter. Perhaps it was a sign of His blessing.

You are in my heart and in my prayers. I am so glad you all got to spend some time with sweet Rugby to say goodbye together.

I agree with Mrs Mom. The jeans and Rugby's hair need to stay together as a memory of the power of love.

Marissa said...

I don't know whether to laugh or cry after reading this post... I bet that's how you felt writing it. I have been thinking of you and the Big Guy. Sending healing thoughts to you and your family for this very sad time.

Laughing Orca Ranch said...

Yes...sometimes God has a wonderful sense of humor. I'm glad He gave you that moment to lighten the mood and to always remember in your last day with your sweet Rugby.

What a sweet horse Mom you are to be there for him and to give him his favorite treats his last day.
I'm so very sorry.

~Lisa